Artifical Sweetner
by IlovemyDeanBean
Summary: I'm faking I love you's, your forcing me to


It started simple enough. She let the door slam behind her, running through  
the wet grass at the front of his apartment, running to the El.  
  
Abby leaned against the glass window, buttoned her shirt, pressed her knees together.  
Tried to think of anything but the kisses, the touches. She lay her head back on the  
rest, and closed her eyes.  
  
His hand cupped her cheek, sucking on her bottom lip gently as she hurriedly unbuttoned  
his shirt.  
  
"I..I have to leave soon"  
  
"Why did you come here?" he asked, uncurling her hand carefully, kissing her palm.  
  
"I need..."  
  
He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I need to be touched" Abby swallowed hard.  
  
Luka wrapped his hands around her waist, and kissed her hard.  
***********************  
Oh yes I'm guilty  
For leasing myself out  
Not ready to go up for sale  
Can't seem to give it up  
Stubborn, so selfish   
I'm showing off the worst in me  
  
***********************  
"Where have you been?"  
  
She looked up quickly, eyes wide with shock."I'm..I'm sorry I'm late"  
  
Carter took a deep breath."We need to talk"  
  
Abby dropped her bag and shoes to the floor."I've been saying that for months  
now, and then, when you decide-"  
  
"Are you sleeping with Luka?"  
***********************  
The return of Saturn  
Assessing my life   
Second guessing...  
***********************  
She pulled him by his tie into the supply closet, fumbling with the fly of  
his trousers."I..I need to get out of it"  
  
"Don't use me" he muttered, nuzzling his face into her neck."I won't.."  
  
Abby sank down to her knees, and smiled up at Luka.  
  
"Oh god" he groaned quietly, throwing his head back.  
Abby pressed herself into him, pressed into him hard, sucking on the   
sweaty skin on his jaw.  
************************  
I'm full of artificial sweetener  
My heart's been deceitful  
It's all artificial sweetener  
I'm faking I love you's   
You're forcing me to   
************************  
"This patient asked for pain meds about an hour ago" Susan looked at Abby curiously.  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
Carter brushed by coldly, rather upset about Abby running from the apartment, and not  
coming home that night. He pictured her lounging in Luka's arms, laughing at his tempermental  
heart, and how much of himself he'd put into their relationship.  
  
"Everything's a-okay" Abby answered.  
************************  
You really deserve love  
I want to love you  
But I can't seem to find myself  
My wilting effort  
Our progress report  
I'm only sure that I'm not sure  
************************  
She stayed on the couch that night, watching sheepishly as Carter stormed into the bedroom,  
locking the door behind him.  
  
Abby sat still on the couch,trying hard to ignore the urge to run, the urge to leave  
and not come back.  
  
"If you go" the shadow muttered,"Don't bother coming back"  
  
"How dare you..." she started to argue, needing to scream, yell, to get this sick, almost  
nauseous feeling out of her throat."I left him for you!"  
  
"I never wanted that" he answered, closing the robe around him tighter.  
  
"You're just mad because I refuse to change for you" Abby pushed past Carter, her blood running  
hot in her veins."I won't. This is who I am"  
  
Carter leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths.  
  
Abby ran into the dark. Into the wet grass, into the mist of the sprinklers, laughing.  
  
She ran until Carter's shadow was gone from her eyesight.  
**********************  
Re-read, re-write, redo, undo  
I'm stuck on this page  
I was born two weeks late  
Is that why I hesitate?  
I'm on the fence  
Push me off it  
I want to be on your side now  
And keep a promise  
  
**********************  
"Hmmmm?" Luka turned over in the bed, opening one eye."Abby?"  
  
She straddled his lap, running her hands up and down over his chest."I.."  
  
He cupped her face, running his finger over her cheek."You didn't have to".  
  
"I couldn't do it anymore" Abby said, pulling her tank top over her head. 


End file.
